Older Siblings of the Missing: Loss and Unknowing – Review of Clarke’s Article

The article examines the impact of absence on the sibling of the missing person, describing the importance of sibling bonding, outlining the characteristics of loss, and identifying issues to consider when providing support to people whose siblings are missing. In the introduction, the author argues that although sibling bonds are among the most significant family ties in a person’s life, and although they are fundamentally different from parent-child bonds, not enough research has been done to examine the unique impact of absence on siblings, who are usually lumped together with other family members as a single unit. The current study aimed to bridge this gap, through in-depth interviews with siblings whose siblings are missing. The interviewees were aged 24-33, and the missing siblings were aged 16-25 at the time of the disappearance. The interviews focused on six key issues:

1. The experience of losing a sibling – The interviewees reported a special connection with the missing sibling, and felt a sense of responsibility towards the missing person. The brothers described an experience of vague loss, along with a lack of recognition of their loss and pain.
2. The disappearance was unexpected – Most interviewees described the disappearance as an unexpected event, saturated with ignorance and doubts. They described the event as the most significant and difficult event in their lives. They reported a constant movement between despair and hope, between anticipation of the return of the missing brother and an effort to continue their lives. Many of them reported feelings of loss of control, confusion and distress, lasting for a long time and at very high intensities, far beyond what they had imagined.
3. The disappearance was shocking – Interviewees described the lack of knowledge regarding the fate of the missing brother as a confusing and terrifying experience. They felt helpless and frustrated. The interviewees also described the media coverage and police investigations as upsetting experiences, making it difficult for them to maintain emotional balance.
4. Dim loss – The interviewees reported that thoughts about the missing brother influence and sometimes even control their lives. The lack of knowledge about the brother’s fate led to many of them not knowing how they should feel, how they should grieve, or what they could share with others.
5. The disappearance as a process – The interviewees described the disappearance as a process, where in some cases, the disappearance can be understood against the background of childhood events or characteristics that could have been identified in the brother before. The interviewees also referred to a change in their perception of what happened to the missing brother, so that as more time passed, most of them tended to assess that the scenario was bleaker, although most of them maintained hope.
6. Support needs – The interviewees reported a variety of needs in terms of support, but most of them placed the greatest emphasis on the need for police efforts to alleviate the distress. Most of them felt that search campaigns were the most effective way of providing support they could receive. In general, the interviewees had difficulty seeking emotional and social support, and felt that they did not know where to find such support. They emphasized the need to provide support to all family members, and preferred to participate in support systems that include people who have had similar experiences to theirs.

The study shows the great importance of increasing awareness of the difficult experience of siblings of missing persons, and the necessity of adapting dedicated support systems for them.